BULALAKAW - Pandan Antique Newsletter
Official Publication of
Pandan Antique Foundation and Pagtatap Foundation, Inc.
PHONE CARD
By Eduardo V. Gumboc III, Connecticut USA
Continuation... from page 4

Photography by Sofie HofmannI returned the phone to its cradle and wondered why I had difficulty saying those words. I'm pretty sure it wasn't because I don't love my father, and I know that he knows I love him dearly.

I wasn't disturbed by what I failed to do over the phone, and I also believe that Tatay didn't mind. I want to believe that my story isn't unique. There must be millions more in the world who struggle to verbally express their love for their parents. More importantly, and this is worth noting, the struggle must have come from the difficulty of some parents to verbally express their love to their children too.

When we were growing up, we did not hear Tatay asking us how much we loved him, nor did he say, "I love you" to us. We just knew that he loved us and we hoped he knew that we loved him too. He must have thought that actions speak louder than words, that saying "I love you" was unnecessary since he truly expressed his love to us in other countless ways. He did not recognize the necessity of verbally expressing his love to his children. He simply showed it.

Saying, "I love you" for fathers who adored the emotionally indifferent James Bond and John Wayne is an assault to their masculinity. To them, a father must manifest strength and control by denying emotions. Love is a strong emotion, therefore, saying, "I love you," was perceived as unmanly, uncool, and it brought about a "yukky" feeling.

Tatay is a product of that generation… a generation where "I love you" is as awkward as wearing bell-bottoms while snacking at Jolibee today. I am an extension of that generation, the son of my father. I won't wear bell-bottoms at Jolibee. I still find it unfashionable to say, "I love you, Tatay." We don't say it; we just do it.

Tatay loved, respected, and remained faithful to Nanay. That was the greatest gift he gave us. He did the marketing and the cooking. He made sure that we went to good schools and excelled. Through his actions, he taught us honesty and dedicated service. He constantly reminded us to pray and to prioritize the welfare of our souls more than anything else.

I imagine that Tatay went beyond the norm of his generation when he said, "I love you" to his son. His generation will soon be a part of history. He himself recognized that he could no longer do the marketing and cooking as much as he wishes to. His "just do it" expression of love is undoubtedly diminishing. But he would like to make sure we know that he loves us… and this may no longer be in the form of his delicious tinola or superb pinamalhan. He knows another equally beautiful way of showing it… over the phone, before my five-dollar prepaid phone card expired, when he finally said, "…love you" to me.

And before I forget, I love you too, Tatay….
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